Beyond Semiconductor Memories:
“Sreenivas. You come here. Come here I said “shouted my class teacher (2nd grade).”Tell me why were you talking in the class?” I feebly replied “No madam .He was asking so …” She interrupts me “Go and sit on the 1st row 3rd bench, now”
I look at my new seating position. There were two girls already seated there. I could hear my friend giggling as I began dragging my bag. I pushed my bag against the side of the bench as the girls began adjusting to give me a seat. “You will sit in the middle” ordered my teacher. My friends burst into laughter. I could feel a volcano erupt in me, that’s an insult I said to myself and cursed that god should not forgive her for this(moms don’t entertain complaints against teachers that left only god for me). Just then a sweet voice spoke to me “Excuse me”. The bus had come to a halt and this beautiful girl next to me at the window seat wanted to get down. I got up to give her space I could see some more empty seats. I don’t know from where these seats sprang up; they all looked filled when I got in J aai shapath. (Promise)
Things change don’t they? From change I remember my mom had accompanied me to my open day (also called open house in some schools) where my teacher voiced special concerns about my communication skills. She went to the extent of asking my mom to put me in public speaking courses. You see we (3o of us) used to chew mint (polo) in class (total class strength 78). I was helpless when she asked me question when I had just popped in polo. I tried my best didn’t open not to open my mouth and used too much action instead. I haven’t seen my mom laugh at anything as this piece of advice. Last open house it was quite different “your kid is a menace. He and that Sharma fellow both are hopeless they sit in two corners of the class room but still create a lot of noise” My heart still swell in pride on those words
It was at our out bound’s retreat where we had to summarize what we learnt in those two days. Vishy (our team leader) left the presentation of the summary to me and my colleague Gautam. We did a great job at it and the event organizers came up to me and said “Well done my boy Keep it up”. As I shook hands with the Brigadier I could see the fourth grader in me fidgeting in his chair as he was next on stage for elocution. The fourth grader started moving towards the stage only to be stopped by his teacher for some final instructions “Vishwanath” She said. ”No madam I am Sreenivas” I replied. “Ok listen go on stage and bow “she said showing me how it’s done. I nodded and went on stage. I bowed only to knock the mike off the stage with my head. The whole school was in raptures. I wish I could tell something to the fourth grader that he would speak well and people will appreciate him one day; only if I could .Probably I didn’t need to. He simply laughed along as the teacher tried to calm the crowd and the attendant replacing the mike with a new one and then went further to fetch the mike that had rolled approximately 25 meters. “I am Sreenivas Subramanian from class IV and division A” the fourth grader was off wasting no time “I am here to recite a poem ‘The Honey and the Bear’” and I don’t think he ever looked back then. Did he? NaaaaaaahJ.
Couple of days ago I just lost it .I wasn’t able to figure out why a piece of code was behaving in a manner it not to be. I had almost spent a whole day trying to figure it but no hope seemed to be coming. At 6:30 PM I went to the cafeteria to have coffee. Most of my friends were missing rather none were present. A few had left for the day and the remaining seemed to be too busy to join me for coffee. I decided to leave packed my bags and started the walk back to my room. I happened to bang in to a kid; he seemed to be lost and was in tears. I asked him to cool down by then some one had found him. They thanked me and gave the kid a tight slap for running here and there. It reminds me of myself lost on the streets of Tirupati. We (my family) were at this stall in Tirupati where I saw flute and raised request for it, only to be declined .The shopkeeper said some exorbitant price for an artifact and my mom said move ahead lets leave and I blindly started walking only to realize after sometime that I was the only one who had walked out. Suddenly I realized I was lost I went back along the same route couldn’t find my parents. The shock had even dried up my tears. I sat hopelessly near a tanga wala. He enquired about me and told me to try again. I went again I found no one and started my retreat again towards the tanga. Just then someone grabbed me by my arm and gave me a tight slap. He was my dad (for me it was hand of life grabbing me back).I got my flute that day, today I don’t know where it is I know its shape though it some what similar to a saxophone (ssh…me and bro used to play cricket with it. By the way I have two flutes with me I don’t play even one)
All of us have such travels into our past recollecting the first time you stole a mango from a tree in someone’s compound, running like a mad behind a loose kite and grabbing it before the other team grabs it, the first time you rode a bicycle and falling into the bushes while trying to take doubles, the first crush, the first propose especially if its on hanuman jayanti. But how frequent do we recollect these? Are we so lost in our present and dreams of future that we don’t find time for our past? The friends, the moments that we left behind who live in our memories. I often wonder whether life is continuous or exist in those finite moments of happiness, surprises, shocks and disappointments. We all know our end the inevitable. What do we carry beyond it? Most importantly what do we leave behind? Memories for others to remember us…???
It seems like it’s just been yesterday
When I had met you on the way
We laughed and talked all day
But today we are all miles away
You are all in my memory never to be cast away
For we love each other and can never betray
Believe me my friends today
We are actually just smiles away
A smile that I truly mean and also the smile that make me feel lonely even when I am amongst a crowd.
-The Firebird
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