Cafe Brews

Every heart has cavities
to hide and to fill
A world filled with action and consequences
to race it  and to thrill

I see pieces of me floating around
in whats seem to be my own doing
I see a golden rim as the waves rise and fall
Have no idea where I am going

how did it come to all this I ask ?
what was my quest ? what was my task ?

Its likes a couple of minutes ago ,
I was whole and fine
I was brown and roasted ,
and smelt sublime

And then she walked into my shop,
with her big eyes and black hair 
was she with someone ,
oh I really didn't care

As the waiter sat them down ,
and passed them the menu
Among many things they ordered ,
there was a coffee I bet you

From the jar ,my life was confined to,
I wanted an escape ,
I have to meet her I have to meet her .....,
I repeated like a broken tape

Was I alone in my desire for her,  I seriously doubt
there were many before me,
and surely many who would have followed me out

As destiny tilted my jar
for what I thought was my escape   
I was crushed
and grounded to powder; to a paste

With a little steam to carry my smell
I landed in this cup , with bits of me as well

 A sandwich for the mister ,
 coffee for the lady - the waiter declared  

As the waves subsided , I realized I was on her table
 I could see her so close - it seemed right out of a fable

But just then the waiter was interupted ,
destiny spoke again - as the guy next to her
Requesting the coffee to be taken back as it was
tea they had ordered

As I ebb and fall in my little cup
destiny waiting to drain me down the tub
I close my eyes and pray
for that voice of hers to call back my tray


- Mr Bean

Forgiveness .....

How often I find myself
in search of an eraser.....
Wish it would erase .....
so many memories I need not treasure

I agree, me no perfect either...
for hurt sure even I have caused
But why do I feel a rage ...
for those mistakes that I have never been a part off.....

Rocked and shaken I am
by the mere power of hurt
It questions everything I say I blurt

But this fight in me has to end
and all thats hurt has to mend
So I choose to forgive
and hope it finds me too before the end

-- Firebird

A Nights Fairy

Might have been just another day,
with lots of work and just no play
As Hanif , I and Denny left for dinner that night
mind you, had just reached the gate allright
Have a question thrown from Hanif to me
and as i turned to search its answer in the infinity , there was she
As silence befell our conversation, and my heart the only thing I heard
I don't even remember what it mumbled, every thing it said sounded absurd
I felt the time warp around me, and my gaze locked on her
Oh !!!!!!!! she was beautiful and my heart beats grew faster
Her eyes were as dark as I have known darkness to be
and her hair enjoyed the freedom , curled near her shoulders by a degree
I still feel my vocab insufficient to describe what I have seen
How could she be all , gorgeous , voluptuous and lean
In a yellow top and blue jeans she ripped through me that night
So now there is a burning desire of seeing her besides me, in company of moon light :)
-- firebird

Standing Still

sands have come and sands have gone
from beneath my legs ... a world I have known
have been washed into the deepest oceans of thought
just by standing still , I have fought

things that existed, and now a past
beyond recognition, but their memory lasts
in the moistness of my eyes another vision was lost
just by standing still, I have fought

may be I am still hurt, tired of what I think is wrong
but then I am still hanging in there, may be I am strong
in thirst pain hunger and a loveless drought
just by standing still , I have fought

Ohh I have been advised to inflict pain on those
to be a thorn in the flesh, rather than carry a heart of rose
I couldn't do it, even when he was a Balrog of Morgoth
just by standing still I Have fought

sands have come, sands have gone
as the darkness deepens I wait for the dawn
for a bugle shall sound from east before my existence is one with the infinite nought
just by standing still , I would have fought

- firebird

A phantom , a warrior , a ghost who walks

Concept : Aashish Pangam

This tale is from a bloody battle of all times
and a fable retold many a times

About a soldier who went to battle as a man
to fight for good , to fight for his clan

He believed in right knew what was wrong
but his enemy was brutal , and battle drew long

He didn't wanna hurt , he didn't wanna kill
surrounded by the enemy he fought with his will

Even though he tried to be human in battle
his enemy was barbaric , nothing in their path was spared , but killed

His bravery his will held him in good stead in the fight
until an arrow pierced his heart out right

He bled , and pain knew no bounds
and through the battle field, his shrieks of pain did rounds

He fell on his knees , and crashed to dust ...
or so thought his enemies that he would .. he must.

Fell dead the man ... and a warrior rose
and chopped the heads off the enemy who even came close

A sword no sharper, a hit never so lethal
for even the heartless enemy felt his hatred , and an experience near fatal

Even as time stood appalled , and mother earth dress in bloody carcass
he became the wall that no enemy would dream to cross

I wish I could remember that day as the triumph of good , and a dark era gone
but I know for sure, that night in battle a honest good man died and a warrior a war machine was born.

-- firebird

Hypocrite

Through my adventure till today
I met two kinds of people, I must say

The one who spoke and lived by truth
and the other lied , and would do whatever it took

But deep within they never lied
good or bad .. maybe right or wrong ... but their souls never cried

Until lately I discovered the third kind
Oh they are amazing ... they leave both these guys behind

they lie to themselves and are honest to the world
and the firebird once believed one such honest lie they sold

but soon the lie rose to the fore
firebird is happy like never before

but it pains to see their complicated lives
a heart and a conscience both dozed off for life

their soul alone carries the burden of this all
for one day their heart and conscience will wake up and the hypocrite shall fall ...

-- Firebird

Miss you a lot

From across thousands of feet
some how some one controls my heart beat

No idea when i gave her the power to control
and thats why may be I am here with my pen and a scroll

May be its funny , may be it not
may be I love her, or .... just miss her a lot

Oh .... you should listen to her talk
Its the only voice thats better than silence , like a mighty ocean lashing away on a rock

In her I dream, and see beyond the boundaries of time
and she tells me everything is sweet ... even a lime :)

At times its all i can think
and looking into nowhere, I smile , I wink

Its she who recharges me, refills new thoughts
and through the day I battle, and am proud how well i fought

There is possibly more to her than i know
She blends reality, dreams and illusions seamlessly you know

The magician she is, she accepts its complicated being her
and you know what even after being so strong, beautiful and powerful even she has her fear

aah . .. alas you may want to know her name guys
and ofcourse there is more to it that what meets the eye

Do you all want to know who is this girl.. who is my life
She is who i go to bed with .. she is my sleep guys

.................
A sleep that guides me through the darkness of the night
a sleep in which all my fears rest
a sleep in which i forget everything
a sleep which when i leave i shall be awakened to a new dawn
and may be the sleep from which I shall never be awake again .....
missing her a lot :)
- firebird

My search for strength

I often dig deep into myself ,
with a question for company in search of it answer
for often i wonder what strength is all about

Is it to stand tall after a fall
or to hide ones tears for the sake of all

Is it the property of victorious
or may be what make life of a martyr glorious

Probably to stamp ones authority and demand for what one wants
or may be to accept ones undoing ignoring others taunts

is it to befriend the shield and the sword
or to forgive every sinner, win him over with the might of ones words

Is it lead a life of principles not compromised for convenience
probably swimming in the oceans when the storm is intense

or is it to break up and cry at ones defeat
or the feeling of loneliness engulfs you as your world crumbles under your feet

Is it beyond men to understand what it means
or is it subconscious which helps us redeem.

- firebird

Star

pushed into a corner , i found myself
no light , but only shadows to stare at

all my knowledge seemed to have surrendered
and the might of fear seemed to overwhelm my faith

for my defeat looked inevitable even to a fool
and my existence one with darkness

for a volcano of emotions burst out in my heart
a few of anger , lots of hatred for those who gave this dark gift

i burnt in my anger , and hatred; one with the gloom around me
i was transforming into the very same darkness i disowned

a rude awakening one may say when my broken knowledge woke me up
it was astonishing how far i had walked away from where i wanted to be

with a pat on my shoulder " let do it, not try " said my knowledge
from that day till time bid me bye , i stare the darkness in its face,
for that's why they call me a STAR

-- firebird

The Wait

In search of those expressions, that smile than looks
Not a person who listens to me , who gives me a ear
but some one who reads me like a book

A search that leads me to directions none worth pursuing
I see a hole in the ship of my optimism , thats begun sinking

For there are suggestion , of change
and to be happy in what I find rather than what i seek
But I also know it wouldn't be me then ,
and no meaning left in what i seek

tempted to change I am I must admit, but "what if ??" my optimism roars
" What if I find the reader
all the expressions, that smile , I have desired forever
"
Would she be cheated by my decision to change,
for in my optimism and desire was she born
Amongst all this storm, all I now desire is for dawn
-- firebird

friendsday

be it night or day
be it corridors, balcony or a highway
be it work, masti or play
its been you all who have made my day

when i slid off of the rock
or when i slept through a talk
when i was pissed off with my job
and the world was about to label me a blob
guess who were my saving grace

my very own punching pad
that even punches me back
knocking me back conscious
when on the wrong track

from the coffees we devoured
and time me savored
of the times we smiled
and at times wouldn't say a word

i may be pretty ordinary,
same you for this world
its our friendship thats precious to me
so precious never to be sold.
--firebird

306 SKYLINE SURABHI

when we Bangalored on september four
in search of a place where we could live the lore

We were two group then, me lalu and ranga were one
the tronics guys arun doggy and parageee the other one

Ranga i was told was allergic to smoking and drinking
And if you would tell that to Arun; he would say he is basically joking

So then as fate would have it ; it all started from a mallu newspaper
and we all ended up at Anita house munching banana chips and wafers

In a city where we couldn't find place for two we now had a place for six
while we shifted and watched TV that night others were searching for acco ; were in a fix

where else on earth would jockey be a bank and "sorry" a banned word
balcony for private talks and birthday boys face smeared with curd

Begin the day with aadat and jal
and play cricket with an eight kilo dumbell

the absolute sasta shopping at big bazaar
and the weekend trips to wonderla mekadat and far

my hole , aruns wall and ranga raags
doggies bathroom parags TV ;lalus "The ayurvedic drink" at that was all.

the rebellion for a dining table, unlocking of a locked room
the late night tea at lazza and the wind at the slide in the backyard

for the office stories we shared to dories dal
aur jis din ho cricket match us din to uska haal behaal

between lazy saturdays and long weekends
from pyaaz ki kachoris at BDA to laCAZA the list never ends

the dhoom2 in kamakya
and then the dhoom3 at kamakya

for we had strength and weakness had no sign
but then fate has its design (i don't mean rangas blog it has none)

for nows its 2 in states, 2 in mumbai, 1 in pune & 1 in mindtree
longing to meet you all one day one place 306 SKYLINE SURABHI.

-firebird

SMAKS

After another tiring day
I drop into my bed
With the fan at full speed
and a pillow under my head

suddenly I feel something
I never felt before
I open the windows
and lock the door

Its amazing as it gets to me
I feel only one thing TIME
and as what I still considered present moves into past
leaving me struggling to rhyme

It aches ! at place i never knew were mine
My thoughts moving in triangles circles and lines

All i did today is to stare at some photos
and i realized gone are the days when we wandered without any motto

Time tries to console me and says "You will remain in touch"
Ya I say why not, orkut gtalk with some luck

But i know our lives are about to change and move ahead; and we are going our ways;
let me tell you all that you all are special to me ; i shall remember you all always

For smaks I believe is beyond time material and space
Its some where within us ;Isn't it this that bring a smile to our face

--firebird
Reflections :
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a firebird my belief in immortality is pure. Relations are made and broken.
But then ther are those relations with no name , no reason and no expiry which pass into time as a gentle whisper, a cool breeze ,as a fragrance of a flower never to be forgotten. It explains the very basis of immortality to me
Immortality can never be achieved in material. But only in time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Butterfly

Among the winged creation that grace the sky,
she fell in love of earth.
Leaving sky she choose earth to fly,
and in mother earth's flower and fragrance she flirts.

Buzzing and busy this winger of color,
captures the imagination of all.
And makes me the Firebird wonder,
is sky really beautiful of all.

This winger is a treat to watch,
not to mention a inspiration to me.
She flocks and flies to so many flowers
but takes only the nectar you see


teaching me to take the good from each flight
she is my little teacher "THE BUTTERFLY"

---- Firebird

Light within

In midst of things that seems to have no beginning nor an end
i look up to the skies for the light to descend

i had been moving forward with my heart as the compass on the trail
and now there were times when its started to fail

It neither attracted or repelled
but i moved ahead on the path that i had last held

All that i realize is the deep dark night
but i have pledged to fight

and thats when i stopped pitying my plight
and didn't look up to the skies for light

the more i learn of darkness, i knew something well
in these walls of pain i wasn't alone to dwell

they were many, like and unlike me
like the drops that form the dark sea

it pained me to see myself a part of the darkness i despise
the pain just grew ,until it burnt me and there was no respite

And as it stands now i have a light of my own,
and the darkness of many
the battles seem to be mine, but victory not yet any
-----Firebird

To say or not to !!!!

When the heart thinks and my brain beats
When there is no distinction between victory and defeat

The fear of losing things not gained
and friends shout refrain refrain

Now throwing stones into the pond is a new sport
and when words flow from the heart and sink in my throat

When damage is beyond repair
and I can't handle her stare

I fear I might take what i feel for her to my grave
I wish I wish I could be brave

Finally I muster a lot of courage
All after wasting this whole page

With the only question in my mind I walk up to her and say "Hi
Tell me yeh melody itni choclatee kyu hai ; why ??"

-- Firebird

Life :The Process

I have heard the wisest speak,
nectar flowed from his beak.

He said the process is important
and I asked what about the result

His smile grew bigger than ever
i didn't know was my question foolish or clever!

After a brief silence he left the room
I received a note from him by noon

Fly to the world of men, it said
It looked like an order than a request

It was in the world of men,
I saw machines that did the work of ten

with a body of metal, no heart or brain
they worked morning to night,again and again

delivering results being only their goal,
the term life was alien and so was soul.

On the other hand , the creator of machines "man"
still had not mastered the death, he wishes he can.

The end result of all men who's existence begins from the womb
seemed to me goes through various paths but results in a tomb.

I saw the answer starring at my face
I flew back to my world with great pace

"Welcome Back" said the wise beak,
"See" he said before i could speak
"what differentiates men from machines is life,
a process beyond result of any kind "
"So fear not the result but the reasons all right"

"Then why didn't you tell me if you already knew?" I asked
"why had i to fly so long in search of the answer"
He smiled and said "the process is more important"

---The Firebird

Autumn:Time to Bid Farewell

Looks like i just woke up from a dream
I walk up to your door and its your name that i scream

I push your door open to feel a gush of wind
As your curtains flutter a vacuum overcomes me within

As our laughter thunders in that empty room
My heart shrinks in vain as flashes of memory zoom

I walk down slowly to the breakfast table
where empty seats indicate the end of the fable

A fable of true friendship and great company
I sip my coffee thinking about those moments... many

As I stare at the mirror I see a thin scaly lifeless tree
Its autumn my friend and all the leaves go free.

--Firebird

The Very Nature of Power

This came to me from a distant planet
Didn't have a form then but attracted me like a magnet
It said it would be loyal to me forever
Its now my prized possession and i call it power
I now had the power to do everything
I had assumed full control of my life ,I was a king

It was like a friend to me
But one day i was made to see
My inability and helplessness to give up power at right earnest
My relations strained
and many hearts pained
by the merciless power
that i had discovered
for i realize today
i never possessed it
For it enslaves me and rules me and my life
But i haven't given up yet
I shall give it up for sure
Though it still attracts me as a magnet
--Firebird--

The Last Breathe

As I pack my bags for what they call my end

I peep outside the window to see light at the bend

Their sounds of song and dance die as I close my window

Locking my home I scan the empty sky as I prepare to go

My only companion my horse and my guitar

For my journey back home amongst the stars

As pictures of days gone by flash in front of my eyes

A few sparkling with happiness and a few loud cries

My horse and I are up on the way to the mountain

Where my end is destined and certain

It's dark and cold here and silence runs miles deep

My horse tiptoes and as shadow I creep

I don't fear the beyond as I turn to have a look behind

The lights from the busy street down are not hard to find

I wave them farewell as if they would respond

I hope they would not forget what is right and what is wrong

Let courage and compassion mark each of their acts

Let honesty prevail as lust and greed distract

I pray they remember what they learnt and what I taught

Happiness boredom or failure together we had fought

As darkness readies itself to engulf me dear

Lots of love and a happy new year

- the year of 2007